In the introduction to my upcoming book Walking Through Your Walls I talk about not being able to see the forest for the trees. Last Thursday, March 26, 2016 was the 2 year anniversary of a very significant day in my life that had to do with my walk; the walk of my life. This year March 26 was another very significant day although I did not necessarily plan it so. It was the day I emailed my first draft of the manuscript for Volume I of my book, to my editor. When I did that, I did not realize it was the 2 year anniversary.
I’m still trying to figure out if that act has connection to what I’m about to tell you. If you have any ideas about this, please share your comments! Later that day on the 26th, I went to the grocery store. I had briefly checked with my husband earlier about what we needed, but for some reason, I felt unsure, so I texted him. When I got into the store I still hadn’t heard from him, so I called him. Voice mail, I didn’t leave one. When I finished shopping and about to get in line I tried one last time. Same result.
So, I checked out and headed home. It wasn’t until I was in the parking lot that it suddenly hit me: not once had I had a thought about why he had not answered. My entire life, from my first memory, I have been like a super competent organizer and planner. Not out of fear, or because of fear, even though it may have appeared fearful to others. I was what I call, a “predictive planner.”
I can see the energetic matrix, and I can see all the choices of what can happen at any moment, and then I can see where each of those choices lead. Now, when that happens, I’m not like “oh no, what if……” as I see each of them. It’s not a “worry” energy. It’s more like predictive planning. I just need to do far enough down every path to see the point where I feel safe and secure again, and in control.
I came into my life connected to the Great One Mind, so I have always felt safe and protected; I have always felt directed. I have always known that All is Always Well, long before I heard the term.
That knowingness, does not keep me from being able to see the different possibilities. For example: Maybe he’s fallen off a ladder, maybe he’s fallen off a roof, maybe he’s been in a wreck. A different husband and it was “maybe he’s having an affair, maybe he’s left me, maybe he’s been in a wreck.” It was never at an emotional level; always at a high level. Up in my head as the saying goes.
I actually stopped dead in my tracks pushing my grocery cart when it hit me: My mind was at total peace, my mental “10 words” tape was running and there were no other thoughts fighting to come in. I had not engaged in any predictive planning and no thoughts about his lack of answering were lingering. I was in the present. I was standing in the forest. It’s quiet and peaceful.
I don’t understand it, I don’t understand why I am suddenly this way, but I like it. I like it very much. I would have said I had already achieved this peace, except now I understand I was still dealing with clouded vision from a karmic imprint.
Walking Through Your Walls, Loving Yourself and Every One Else: Humanity’s Handbook for Living Consciously in the 21st Century. What I am is the result of the things I talk about in the Handbook. While we may not have a hard copy of a book yet, that act in itself, of emailing the draft to my editor, was the first step on the road towards completion. Could that account for this shift of my energy and attention?
Or was it a day of miracles because I was in flow? I’ve had days like that, when the energy is just flowing, and one thing after another works out, or shows up, or reveals itself. I’ll have to keep pondering this. I don’t understand it yet; once I do, I think I will able to help people with the knowledge I have gleaned.
As always Dear Reader, thank for joining me on my journey of discovery, Namaste’